would you blog me

Monday is Oprah's Favorite Things show, which means there will be non-stop screaming. It has become unwatchable in the past. This year, there is a twist, according to her website- who is in the audience? Is that really considered a twist?

I would guess that it is victims of Hurricane Katrina, although there are so many of them how would she narrow it to 200?

Did you know Oprah's producing The Color Purple on Broadway? Maybe Madonna will want to star in it!

-LB

Do I See More Purple?

It's a small pic but that looks like a purple boa and...

are those the purple boots?

This is from a performance today in London. Madonna in purple is almost as fun as crazy Tom...sigh...remember the Tom days?

See Who's Dumb This Week

Democratic Underground lists their picks for the Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

Included in the 10:

Bill O' Reilly
Vibrator Boy called for terrorists to attack San Francisco. Bill still has his job and Dan Rather lost his...someone explain this to me.

Alabama's Governor
Bill Riley (I know, similar name to Vibrator Boy) announced that Americans should boycott Aruba because of the missing teen (who is from his state). The Democratic Underground goes on to list the names of missing teens from the state of Alabama.

Of course W the list. And more than once.
Check it out here

Grrrape Ape!

Madonna getting into a car in Paris with a purple purse and purple jacket and purple shirt tied over another purple shirt and purple sunglasses.

Ok, this is more raspberry...

Having trouble posting some of the latest purple Madonna photos. Click here to see the pics including her performing while wearing purple fingerless gloves
Purple fingerless gloves???

The Best SNL Ever

This Sunday NBC is airing a 2 hr special about SNL in the 80's. While SNL snobs insist the early years are the best (Murray, Belushi, Radner), the 80's were my personal favorite. Maybe because I'm too young for the "Jane you ignorant slut" years :-P

The absolute, hands down, best skit ever is the synchronized swimming episode. I incorporated it in my college senior year final broadcast project, that is how much I love it. I'm tivoing it this Sunday just in case they show it again.

How Martin Short got that hairline, I do not know. But his mannerisms are hilarious.

Haggard Celebs

Why so puffy and schlumpy?

AHHH! Frightening!

More Purple!

maybe purple goes best with the botox?

Dress You Up in My Love... of Purple

Oy vay! What is with Madonna and the purple getups?
I'm guessing purple is her Kaballah color.

Madge at the Harry Potter premiere

Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!

Are these the same purple boots? Purple...from her head down to her toe-e-woes

MC Hammer wants his jacket back

Purple on a horse

Ewww...

Bree slept with George. This must be why they're called Desperate Housewives.

The 70's are Back Because Madonna Says So

This reeks of desperately seeking re-invention

Why is she wearing the leotard from my 6th grade gymnastics team?

Danny Terrio wants his ball back

Of course, I'm going to buy her new CD.

We're Gas Guzzling Whores

Oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge will soon be a reality thanks to congress. I don't care that there aren't humans that live there, must we violate every inch of this planet?

The other day I saw the tiniest woman hop into her Hummer (not that even the largest of people needs a Hummer, but it just looked extra ridiculous). I laughed so that she would hear me, but I didn't taunt her like I wanted to. Who knows what kind of firearms come with a Hummer.

-Americans consume 9.1 million barrels of oil every day (this just includes vehicles)
-Drilling in the Arctic will reduce our dependence on foreign oil from 70 % to 66%, not much
-Predictions are that Arctic drilling will not result in cheaper gas

You can see how the Senate voted on this and other bills. They actually voted in favor of no cost of living raise for themselves. Shocker.
How the Senate voted

Dang. I wish Tom Cruise would act silly again. This caring about real life stuff is hard!

-LB

RRRRicola

This is one of the oddest promotional contests I have heard of. If you find the "Mystery Cougher" and offer them a Ricola you can win up to $1 Million.

Here's how it works- you hear someone coughing, you offer them a refreshing, herbal Ricola and if they are the Mystery Cougher you win money.

With all the buzz on bird flu, if I hear someone coughing I am running the other way. Where can I order a bubble like John Travolta had?

Ricola Thanks a Million Game

Halloweenie

Crap. It's Halloween already and I don't have my costume. But, Halloween means its time for Rahner's Rotten Rentals, a hilarious spoof of cheesy old TV horror hosts.

Seattle Times pop culture writer Mark Rahner riffs on the new Halloween DVD releases, and has fun with Intelligent Design. (Scroll down to the box next to "Laugh till it hurts.")

You're not working anyways...so why not watch a fun flick?

Plenty of Food for Brownie

The Daily Show is keeping me somewhat sane during these crazy times. While I feel bad that Jon Stewart is making me laugh over someone's incompetence that leads to tragedy, I've cried plenty over Brownie's mistakes and it feels good to laugh at him- and you have to hear about the emailing back and forth between Brownie and the only FEMA guy in New Orleans.

The email exchange at 2min 10secs into the video made me pee my pants:
Watch the RELIEF DITCHER video

-LB

Elvis...is that you?

Get a new gimmick

OK, OK, we get it: hurricanes + reporters in them = riveting television. Note to NBC: Al Roker being held down by some random guy during a category 2 hurricane is not RIVETING, it is COMICAL. What Al really looks like is an IDIOT playing tackle football in a rainstorm. That is not reporting. That is spit-out-your-morning-coffee funny. We get it networks, showing reporters almost being blown away in a hurricane demonstrates how dangerous it is to be outside in them....move on now.

-ET

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

Even if you've seen the Today Show clip of the reporter in a canoe in ankle deep water, you have to see the Daily Show's take on it. They show a second clip of the reporter trying to save face, still in the canoe.

Click on video called Patriot Act

The hilarious canoe moment was edited out for the west coast...yeah for the internet!

Best WWII Poster

You've Gotta Hand it to them....

There has been a lot of discussion floating around the internets about hands, their size, who they belong to and why they are so odd. It really all comes back to the "Bizarro Jerry" episode of Seinfeld and how he couldn't date a woman because she had "Man Hands." Here are two frightening man hands victims:

Madonna has old hands:

As does Kelly Preston:

And in the "just plain old creepy" category is Michael Jackson, who I am convinced is not even human anymore. He is sporting the been-in-the-bathtub-too-long look:

Poor Martha

Martha is on Larry King tonight and he asked her if the home confinement part of her sentence was hard. She proceeded to tell Larry that it was very hard; she has a gym in another building on her home property and she could not go to that building. She has a library on her compound and she could not go to her personal library. She had to stay in her main house except for a few hours a day.

Couldn't go to her library?!?! See, we knew she was wearing that poncho to act like she can relate to the common person.

You have to see Martha's method for folding a t-shirt. It's hurting my head.
Martha's t-shirt folding

Ok, she just told Larry she is against killing animals for fur...awww Martha, I forgive your uppity attitude. If she can go off fur, there is hope for Anna Wintour- infamous beeyatch, and fur whore.
Anna gets a PETA pie in face

SNL Stinks

I just had dinner with a friend who said "sucks" is a swear word, and "stinks" is the word to use in its place. Just doesn't do it for me. SNL SUCKS!

Watched SNL for the Napolean Dynamite actor and was greatly disappointed, no, make that annoyed. Nothing funny, just irritating. To make matters worse Ashlee Simpson was singing. They made no reference to last years lip synching debacle, and AS just sang her dreadful songs live as if live or not makes a difference with her.

SNL should beg Ricky Gervais to be head writer. That's one funny brit.

Wednesday roundup

Nick and Jessica split - WOW, shocker.

Katie Holmes is prego - who's sperm is it?

Hohan in another car wreck - ya don't say?

But the best thing I found on the internets today was the following quote from The President - Mr. Shecky the clown himself:

"I want to thank the President and the CEO of Constellation Energy, Mayo Shattuck. That's a pretty cool first name, isn't it, Mayo. Pass the Mayo. His wife, Molly, appreciated that." - George W. Bush.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN?

- ET

R.I.P. Nipsey Russell

Wonder if they play the Match Game music at his funeral, and the priest talks into one of those super skinny microphones.

I'm still kicking myself for not going up to Charles Nelson Reilly during breakfast at some diner in LA. He was watching Erin and I do the robot while we were waiting for our $20 omelettes.

Like a Bird...Like a Plane...it's Superman's Name??

Nicholas Cage named his son Kal-el. At first I thought this was a Hawaiian name. Oh no. Turns out its Superman's name. I thought Super's name was Clark Kent so I'm all confused.

Maybe it's a jab at his ex, Lisa Marie Presley. Nic had to give away his comic book collection allegedly because LMP wanted him to. I can't believe I know that and have retained that info.

Kanye and Mike Together Again

Kanye West was the musical guest on SNL and before he went on stage they had him and Mike Myers standing next to each other looking uncomfortable, exchanging awkward "so how have you been?". It was good that Meyers can laugh about it because he definitely looked uncomfortable during the telethon.

Steve Carrell is the guest host, and if you have a chance to check out the American "The Office" its pretty funny. I think we've all worked with people like them. I especially like the guy that doesn't understand anatomy and thought that if a woman had a hysterectomy she no longer had a vagina.