Daily Show

That was one bizarre farewell speech. And this had my guffawing.
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily Show
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Political HumorJoke of the Day

I love the part with the CNN guy reading Twitter, asking for some positive comments about Palin and someone tweets "I'm positive she's an idiot". AH HA HA HA

I Saw This On a Tshirt:

"I've got your stimulus package right here"

And an arrow pointed down. And the man was in his 70's or 80's.

Am I The Only One Watching The FASHion Show?

Isaac always says the name of the show odd.

Anyways, I predict Danielle will win. Not that I liked her stuff better (leather bustier? cmon), I liked the other woman's stuff except she had a couple home-ec looking pieces.

We'll find out soon.

Dancing With the Stars Cancer Tribute

"This Woman's Work" sung by Maxwell, but originally from Kate Bush, always makes me tear up. Remember when Kevin Bacon was sitting in the waiting room, remembering all the good times and also how he was kinda an a**, in She's Having a Baby?

Love Jon Stewart

You know how there are these people that say Obama wasn't born in the US? And how mainstream media is actually reporting about these crazies.

Jon Stewart covers the matter perfectly. And it's hilarious.
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Born Identity
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorJoke of the Day

Meredith Asks Al About the Weather in Africa

Ok, this isn't dumb because she's asking a black man about Africa, it's dumb because I could tell her the weather in Africa- HOT.

I kinda like how Al doesn't let it go.
(and read the Gawker commenters)

RIP Taco Bell Dog Gidget

She (she? I thought it was a he) was 15.

She can hang out with Mickey Rourke's dog, Lokie, who died right before the Academy Awards.

Photo, source: People

Hag-l Complains About Work Hours

Katherine Heigl complained on the red carpet about her Grey hours, and she did it again last night on Letterman.

“Our first day back was Wednesday and it was — I’m going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them — a 17-hour day,” Heigl told David Letterman during a visit to the Late Show on Monday, “which I think is cruel and mean.”

Where do I begin on this annoyance...the fact that she is being paid a ton for those hours...or the fact that half of that time (or more) is sitting around in her trailer so it's not like it's hard labor.

Oh, she continues.

“I’m guessing if you’re working 17 hours, that means you’re not dead,” Letterman observed.

Heigl’s reply: “What if, however, Dave, I was in a bed in a coma for 17 hours, they could do that to me.”

So she's saying for 17 hours she could be sleeping and getting paid for it! What a whiner.

Source: People
Photo: AP

This N That

Paula's manager says she has not been offered a contract by the American Idol producers. I don't watch the show, but I thought spaced-out Paula was half of the reason people watched.

Hey, it's hard to navigate a Weinermobile.

This would be great: the U.S. as a no-kill nation. Currently millions of shelter animals are killed each year.

Bono avoided a hug from W.

The Most Trusted Man in America

That's what Walter Cronkite was called during his time at CBS News. How refreshing that he didn't have some kind of affair that challenged his nickname. Seems like that's what would happen nowadays. Yeah, I'm cynical.

Walter Cronkite has died. He was 92.

Fire Shooting Out of His Head

When it happened, I remember hearing about Michael Jackson's hair catching on fire during the Pepsi commercial. I didn't think much about it. I mean, it wasn't John Taylor (Duran Duran) after all. Plus, I don't think we knew the full scope of his injuries.

Or maybe it's different when you see a video of it, and you see fire shooting out of his head. When you watch the video it makes you realize he was just a kid (I think 25), trying to do his best performance, and it possibly affected the rest of his life.

Here it is: Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial

Fire is shooting out of his head and he still makes it down the stairs. Is anyone behind the camera? Hopefully they would've acted on the fact that fire is shooting out of his head.

Some are blaming Jheri curl (yeah, I looked it up, that's the correct spelling), since the chemicals could've helped spread the fire. That could explain the fire shooting out of his head.

After his head fire is put out, you can see that he has a bald patch, and I'm surprised it's not worse. Since he had fire shooting out of his head.

This is what allegedly started Michael on the path of painkillers.

Sears No More

Sears Tower, the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere, was renamed Willis Tower after Willis Group, the global insurance broker.

I would say that's annoying to be named after a business, except I just realized Sears Tower is probably for the Sears business.

Whatcha talkin' about Willis?

Photo, source: AP


A dog nurses pandas in China, after the mama panda said "F this" and split.

I think this dog is happy not to be food! (It's true- they eat dog over there)

Photo: AP

Another Bridget Jones Movie

This isn't listed on Renee Z's IMDB page, but People is reporting that there will be a third Bridget Jones movie.

Let's hope it's like the first one and not the second one. Drove me crazy how she waddled in the second one.

Zellweger, 40, is expected to start filming at the end of this year what will be the third installment about the love-starved British publishing executive, Variety reports.

Source: People

Facebook Song

You'd have to know Facebook to get the references.

It starts out annoying because it's taped by someone in the audience, but stay with it.

And The Gosselins Are Back

US Weekly was Michael Jackson news for awhile there, and now the mag is back to their Gosselin coverage. For some reason they seem to have more Gosselin coverage then elsewhere.

Jon was in France, with his new gf (pic above), talking with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier about a children's clothing line.

I was so confused about the Ed Hardy thing, since I thought he was a tattoo artist, that I went to good ol' Wikipedia. And now it kinda makes sense.

Christian Audigier is formally of Von Dutch. Remember that stuff? Trendy over priced crap that became douche-wear much like Ed Hardy shirts are now (see pic of Jon above, although that might just be a Christian Audigier shirt, but you get the douchey idea).

Ed Hardy, who is a tattoo artist, signed licensing deals with companies to grow the Ed Hardy business. Which could explain why you see his stuff everywhere, including Costco. Christian Audigier signed a deal that lets him use the label for high end merchandise. Oy.

Obama Not Checking Her Out

This video from ABC News explains what Obama was doing.

The No Sh*t Sherlock Report

A new study says Cats Control Their Humans.

Yeah, I could've told you that when I'm sitting on the edge of my bed at 3am with a feather toy. Or when my normally passive kitty tackles the back of my leg for a treat. She is addicted.

Although, there is a new kitty crack in the house. Like Lindsey in a stall at (insert hip new Hollywood club), the kits vacuum up these things in no time.

This N That- Box Office

Bruno is estimated to make $30 million this weekend.

Transformers 2 is now the 16th top grossing movie of all time (domestic, not adjusted for inflation).

I like this list of Top Grossing Movies, adjusted for ticket price. Sound of Music is #3, Grease is #25. Transformers 2 is #100 on this list.

This N That

Jon Gosselin wasted no time showing his new girlfriend.

Mel's next movie isn't called Sugart*ts. It's called Beaver. For reals. And it's directed by Jodie Foster. She must have a good sense of humor. (She's allegedly a lesbian)

Ryan Reynolds is the Green Latern. Bradley Cooper, Jared Leto, and Justin Timberlake were also in the running. Where are the real actors anymore?

Nancy Grace is saying some of the Jackson siblings already have their hand out to their mom for money. Don't know where she is getting her information.

This N That

Patricia Arquette withdrew her divorce petition from Thomas Jane, who now stars on HBO's "Hung" (and it's name means what you think).

You could write Lost's theme song.

A woman is in jail after her husband complained about her cooking.

This N That

Oscar Meyer died, he of the nitrate meat. He was 93.

He was the third Oscar Mayer in the family that founded Oscar Mayer Foods, which was once the largest private employer in Madison. His grandfather, Oscar F. Mayer, died in 1955 and his father, Oscar G. Mayer Sr., died in 1965.

A french tennis player was found dead. He was 24.

A LA Detective who testified at the Rodney King trial kills herself at a police station.

MJ Memorial- A Mix of Appropriate and WTF

Smokey Robinson started the show by reading letters from Diana Ross and Nelson Mandela.

Then there is a long pause. So long that commentators scramble to talk more about Michael Jackson.

The casket is brought on stage by his brothers, who are wearing a white sequined glove, sunglasses and yellow ties. A choir sings.

Mariah Carey sings "I'll Be There", which I think she covered and released as a single years ago. She is wearing typical Mariah garb, which means it's too low cut for a funeral.

Queen Latifah reads a poem Maya Angelou wrote for the occasion. Lionel Richie sings something. It's not "Brick House" so I've tuned out.
(It is the Commodore's "Jesus is Love" I find out later. Note- it is not "Jesus is Juice")

Berry Gordy, Motown founder, speaks. He may or may not be responsible in part for the Jackson's tough childhood.

Gordy says this, one of many statements people make that maybe one shouldn't say at someone's funeral- "Sure, there might have been some questionable decisions on his part."

Video montage.

Stevie Wonder says something nice, and sings. I think it's something about December. I should know more of Stevie's songs, I know! (I just looked it up, I was right about it being seasonal, but way off- it's "I Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer")

Kobe and Magic. Magic recalls a story about meeting Jackie Jackson a long time ago, and it almost sounds like they're dating the way Jackie brought Magic on tour with him. He talks about ordering grilled chicken from Michael's chef, and the chef bringing out a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken for Michael.

KFC couldn't have planned that better themselves...well, maybe they did. Magic does commercials for Rent-a-Center, so maybe he could be bought for some product placement.

Jennifer Hudson sings. Had to look it up- "Will You Be There" which is on Dangerous and Free Willy soundtrack.
That white girl had some skinny arms (no, not MJ. The girl standing next to JHud)

Al Sharpton speaks and not Jesse Jackson. Not sure how this happened, but I think it involved a wrasslin' match.

I really didn't think Al would acknowledge the white children. I know, that might sound harsh. But the white kids who are allegedly not biologically related to any Jackson now get 40% of his money. That just might annoy someone in the family. Maybe not. Hope not.

Al did address the children. And he probably meant well. And it is one of the things we don't need to bring up at one's funeral- "There wasn't anything strange about your daddy".

Quick Al- name someone more strange than Michael Jackson.

Then, Al makes another comment that is one we might rethink at a Michael Jackson funeral- something about Michael "pulling his pants up". I certainly hope this is a reference to how guys wear slouchy pants now.

John Mayer plays Human Nature on guitar and makes those annoying faces. It's a bit muzak, and some guy (backup singer?) sings part of the song. From what I could tell- Mayer didn't tweet during the performance (he's addicted, if ya don't know).

Brooke Shields speaks, and it was a bit moving. If I remember correctly, she hasn't talked to him since the 90's (and I could be wrong).

Jermaine sang Michael's favorite song "Smile". He didn't do as bad as I thought. Two of Martin Luther Jr's children spoke.

Some congresswoman from Texas says something you shouldn't say at someone's funeral- "You are innocent until proven guilty". She talks a long time, has some plague, says congress is going to debate on something Michael Jackson related (legend status or something).

Usher sings "Gone Too Soon". He walks down the stairs to the casket and does what looks like a fake cry.

One of Britain's talent winners, a 12 yr old, sings. Later, during the group song, I saw Berry Gordy with his arm around him. (not in that way, in a "I want to produce your first album" way). Run!

Finale- We Are the World and some other song. Janet has a beret on, Latoya has a hat on like Samantha did when she got a bad chemical peel on Sex and the City. Rebbie, the unknown sister, also has a hat on.

After Jermaine says something about him being Michael's backbone, Marlon talks for a bit and ends by referencing his twin Brandon, who died after birth. I didn't think I had heard of a Brandon Jackson.

The crowd screams for Janet, but Janet directs Paris to the mic. As soon as she starts talking there are many adult hands trying to adjust the mic. Ok, Tito, Randy (I'm just guessing, have no idea who is who), no need to be so eager with the mic. Can you just see future family picnics. Paris drops her fork and Tito and Jackie dive for it. (She's got the money, ya know)

I sincerely hope they are really this caring for the children while not on tv.

For the most part it was not as tacky as it could have been. I mean, how do you honor someone so talented but so troubled?

Michael Jackson Memorial

I think the one part of the memorial that everyone will talk about is when Michael's daughter Paris spoke at the end. I am pretty sure I teared up.

Sure, Janet told her to "speak up" and fussed with her hair. But that is all Janet has ever known. Janet was on Good Times when she was little. I'm sure she has no idea how a child behaves without adjusting hair, and getting close to the mic. So I don't fault her for telling Paris to "speak up".

I just hope that the Jacksons really care about Michael's children and not because those children inherited a lot of money (they will have money after those debts). Also, let's hope the children weren't to demonstrate how much the Jackson's love them- should any court try and give them to Debbie Rowe.

My thoughts on everything about the memorial coming in minutes.

Photo: AP

MJ Memorial Tomorrow

I'm not sure what to think of the people showing up for the memorial tomorrow (I'm assuming they are performing or speaking). When was the last time Brooke Shields talked to him? Since Emmanuel Lewis had a tv show? But, she'll be there.

Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, Whitney, Beyonce and a bunch of people:

• Usher
• Stevie Wonder
• Magic Johnson
• Kobe Bryant
• Andrae Crouch Choir
• Berry Gordy
• Family friends Ron Boyd and Pastor Lucious Smith
• Shaheen Jafargholi of Britain's Got Talent
• Martin Luther King III
• Bernice A. King
• John Mayer
• Lionel Richie
• Smokey Robinson
• Rev. Al Sharpton

Oh great. Is John Mayer the token white guy? Can't we go with someone else? Bono?

Where's Jesse Jackson? He's been hanging out with the eldest Mr. Jackson (he of the odd eyebrows, non?) out in the driveway. Why ain't he showing up?

Quincy Jones has already said he won't go. Something obviously happened with MJ and QJ. Michael was dead a day or two before Quincy was talking about Michael not wanting to be black.

The two people I don't see on the list, who seem to adore Michael, are Elizabeth Taylor and Liza Minnelli. Elizabeth has already sent out a tweet (on Twitter, ya know) that she won't be attending. I suspect some of it has to do with the fact that she is old, but some (or, maybe all) of it has to do with the way this memorial is being done. She wants to be private, which I respect. Liz is a classy broad (yeah, she's a broad), even though she stole Debbie Reynolds husband back in the day. Debbie and her are friends. So she must be a nice person on some level. So I think her instincts might be right on this one.
But we shall see tomorrow if the memorial is an honorable tribute, or just showboating.

I did go on a tangent, but I would love to hang with Elizabeth Taylor, Debbie Reynolds and Shirley MacLaine, sitting around drinking gin and tonics (that just seems like something they'd drink).

While I think this memorial is a way to honor someone, where were these people during his life? Maybe they talked with him, or maybe some tried and couldn't get through to him (whether literally or otherwise).

At least Britney won't be there!

BET Awards- New Edition Singing The Jackson 5

This is the best clip I could find of the opening. For the love of Pete!

I just happened to have caught the opening to the BET Awards today, although they originally aired the Sunday after Michael Jackson's death.

Ok- I better say right now why I just "happened" to have been on BET. I purposefully wanted to see the beginning and see what Jamie Foxx did as a tribute.

I thought it was a good tribute. It was light hearted with Jamie Foxx talking about seeing Michael in concert, and Jamie trying to dance and moonwalk (if you think Jamie Foxx is funny, that clip is entertaining).

More serious moments- I didn't see it but Beyonce (of course- she is everywhere) sang Ava Maria (in a leotard...see clip above), and there were a few other song tributes (also summarized in clip above).

BUT- the best is that New Edition, opens the show singing the Jackson 5. People in the audience were squinting to see who they were (from what I can tell they are not introduced). I recognized Ralph's voice, and realized it was New Edition and Johnny (or technically New Edition and Bobby, since he left). Bobby looks fat, and I'm not sure which of Bel Biv or Devoe has trouble singing, but I thought the mic was out when it might have been his voice.

If you knew me you would know I love me some BBD. If I'm 80 and in a coma, put on "Poison". I'll be out of that bed in no time.

Why BET does not have a full clip of the opening on their website, I do not know. But I blame Bobby Brown.

Robert McNamara Dies

Defense secretary for Kennedy, he narrated "The Fog of War", a documentary about the Vietnam war. Rent it if you haven't seen it. He was 93.

Photo: AP

Madonna Pays Tribute to MJ in Concert

Madonna is performing two night's at London's 02 Arena, where MJ was to perform those 50 shows this month.

I've read a few commenters who point out the "mama se" chorus from "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'" was lifted from African Manu Dibango's "Soul Makossa", whom MJ never gave proper credit. Other fun fact- Eddie Murphy's "Boogie in Your Butt" samples "Soul Makossa's" bassline and horns. Now there's a tribute!

This N That

I don't know sports well, so I don't know Steve McNair. He was found dead today , apparently shot.

One of the Williams sisters beat the other at Wimbledon.

North Korea fires missiles. What's their prob?

Michael Jackson Planted Stories About Himself

According to some Michael Jackson special (you know- the ones that are everywhere), MJ's publicist is the one that gave the National Enquirer the picture of Michael in the hyperbaric chamber back in the 80's. MJ's rep insisted that the word "bizzare" was used to describe MJ, since Michael was trying to have an edgier image.

I think when I saw that pic in the 80's I wondered how someone could get a picture of that. I mean, how many people see you, let alone snap a pic of you, in your hyperbaric chamber?

Btw, I would love a hyperbaric snooze right about now. The allergies are off the charts it seems (due to crazy hot weather?)

Ron Weasley Has Swine Flu

The actor who plays Harry Potter's pal Ron has swine flu.

Grint took several days off filming the next movie in the series, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", but is still expected to join co-stars on the red carpet for the launch of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" Tuesday.

"It has just been confirmed that Rupert Grint has taken a few days out of filming due to a mild bout of swine flu," his publicist said in a statement.

"He has now recovered and is looking forward to joining his fellow cast members at the junket and premieres this week and will then return to filming directly afterwards."

Photo, source: AFP

Ugh. Do I Have to Talk About Her?

Sarah Palin has resigned as governor. We don't know why. Everyone is speculating.

I have a few guesses:
-She got a taste of the good life, traveling outside of Alaska. It's like flying first class, then sitting in coach. I have wondered how she of the big ego would go back to small town Alaska life. She couldn't wait out the governor job (she's only 30 months into the gig), so she quit and will move somewhere in the lower 48.

-She has some kind of Fox News gig. Or big paying job. She realized how much she could make not being in politics. Initially, politics could be seen as a way for her to get money (all the allegations of the free crap she got). But people caught on to that.

-In her crazy head, she thinks this is the way to run for Senator or President. The media keeps suggesting this, although it doesn't make sense. Quitting makes her seem unable to multi-task. Everyone else runs while maintaining their job.

Whatever she does next is probably self serving, and surely to tick off the people of Alaska. It's a bit of an f you.

UPDATE: Just watched part of the press conference (can't stand to watch much of her since she's so full of crap)- I definitely think she got a high paying job. Trying to ditch Alaska.

(Don't you like how I complain about talking about her, then I don't stop?)

A friend of mine, a couple days ago, noticed an article where Palin talks about running (like jogging...not election running). She then talks about how she fell while running, and you can see the bandage during the debate. My friend then researched this, and couldn't find on picture that showed Palin with a bandage. So we were talking about how she might be a compulsive liar. This was on Wednesday! So, maybe something will come out that shows she's a big, fat liar.

Non Michael Jackson News

It's tough to find, so enjoy some cute animals.

A white turtle amongst darker turtles. Doh! It almost is Michael Jackson related.

Photo: Reuters


The Sears Tower in Chicago has "The Ledge", a balcony made of glass that you can walk onto and look down. 100 stories in the air!

Photos: AP

The Latest MJ News

If MJ's mother can't care for the children, the will states Diana Ross as the next guardian. Why no sister, I wonder?

There won't be a viewing of Jackson at Neverland for the public as earlier reported.

Jackson can't be buried at Neverland because it is private property. California is so in need of money, I predict they will change this law to get tourist dollars.

MJ is allegedly being held at Forest Lawn Memorial Park. That is the place to be buried (Bogart, Gable, Jimmy Stewart).

John McClain Named as Jackson Will Executor

No way!

Attorney John Branca, Barry Siegel and John McClain, a music executive, are named as executors.

After the will was revealed, a Los Angeles judge granted Katherine Jackson limited authority over her son's estate until Monday. (The ruling came over the objections of Branca and McClain as co-executors of Jackson's estate.)

She was also granted "slim" authority to take control of the roughly 2,000 items from Neverland Ranch. (The items were set for auction earlier this year, but the sale was stopped after Jackson sued.) In her filing, Katherine's attorneys said the memorabilia is being held by a former Jackson representative.

A court hearing is scheduled for Monday to discuss who should control Jackson's estate.

Ok, so it's a different John McClain. But that would've been cool. In court he'd say things like "yippee ki yea, mother f-ers".

Karl Malden Dies

Here's Karl, with Michael Douglas, in The Streets of San Francisco. He was 97!

Governor Sanford Admits to Other Women

From the NY Post (bold is mine):

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford said Tuesday that he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress -- but never had sex with them.

The governor said he "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed his once-promising political career.

"This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

His wife should tell him to f off.

Al Franken is a Senator

Norm Coleman finally accepted that Al Franken got more votes. Mainly because the Supreme Court of Minnesota said so.

Here's Al at a rally today.

Photo: AP