Have you see the Haiti commercial with W and Clinton? W looks as clueless as the last time we saw him.

Does anyone else get shivers when they see him?

Lost Recap

Lost is back on the air Tuesday. The show is appropriately titled because you feel Lost after watching it.

This video sums up the show...well, the best that anyone can.

Thanks D!

Ah...This Might Explain It.

I have wondered why it seems people are harsher on President Obama than they were with Clinton (who, in retrospect was hardly liberal). Part could be the 24 hr news cycle and more blog (thus more opinions published). But I think this article explains it...we aren't satisfied with much. We are a collective group of disappointed people. When we don't have quick results, we complain.

My God, did you hear that pathetic State of the Union? That guy, that President Obama? Disappointing times a thousand, am I right? What the hell happened to him? Why is he so weak and ineffectual? Why the hell can't he step up and fix the entire planet in under 400 days like he promised he would, in my dreams and fantasies and impossible liberal grass-fed organic tofu greengasms? Doesn't he know I put a goddamn bumper sticker on my Subaru for him? I've never done that for anyone. Bastard.

He's only accomplished what, about 100 of the things I expected him to accomplish by now? Big deal. I have, like, 5,000 more. Health care reform has failed. Guantanamo is still open. Wars are still warring. Jobs are still sucking. Gays are still unhappy because the entire human understanding of love and gender in this nation has not completely transformed within a year. Infuriating!

But the biggest disappointment of all? Turns out one calm n' brilliant Barack Obama isn't enough to solve the problem of 535 vile n' slothful congressional jackals who aren't Barack Obama. Go figure.

Shall we recall just how violently disappointed those fundamentalists were when Bush bumbled off the stage, the single greatest disaster as president we will ever know? They were, of course, mostly disappointed Bush wasn't able to do far more repellant damage than he did. They wanted nothing less than full-scale war on Islam, death to all abortion doctors, creationism in schools, homosexuality banned outright, all you scary women to please stop it with your needy n' terrifying vaginas. You know, the usual.

And now it's the hardcore Dems' turn, in reverse. Obama cannot do enough good, fast enough. He is failing as our personal SuperJesus. Not because he's not accomplishing volumes and making all sorts of history, but because we were expecting total mindblowing revolution. Hey, it's his own fault, right? He's the one that set out one of the most ambitious agendas in presidential history to go along with the million-mile hole he has to dig us out of first. Can you blame us for whining?

But we don't stop there. Not only are we disappointed, we need to express it. Vent it. Hiss it and spit it and hurl it like fistfuls of mental manure at the great wall of hey, screw you.

You have but to take a peek in the comments section below this column, any column, any article on this or any news site whatsoever, to see just how mean and nasty we have become. It does not matter what the piece might be about. Obama's speech. High speed rail. Popular dog breeds. Your grandmother's cookies. The anonymous comments section of any major media site or popular blog will be so crammed with bile and bickering, accusation and pule, hatred and sneer you can't help but feel violently disappointed by the shocking lack of basic human kindness and respect, much less a sense of positivism or perspective.

Maybe this, then, is the ultimate upshot of our endless, self-wrought swirl of sour disappointment, of never having our impossible needs fully met, of constantly being thwarted in our desire to have the world revolve around our exact set of specifications and desires.

Our disappointment begins to curdle, to turn back on itself, poison the heart, turn us nasty and low. It shifts from merely being a national mood or general temperament, into a way of being. A wiring, deep and harmful and permanent. It's all very disappointing, really.

Mark Morford, SF Gate.
The full story: here

Thanks D!

President Obama Meets With Repubs

I only watched the first question and I'm already annoyed. Why do the repubs not acknowledge that everything was in the crapper when Bush was in office?!?! And that tan guy and the weasel next to him. I ask you- does it look like they give a poop about you?

Best Headline Ever?

Exclusive: Oops! Jessica Simpson Farts During Business Meeting

That was on US Weekly's website, followed by this article:

Let's end this meeting on a high note!

A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. "While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart," says the insider.

"Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, 'Jessica!' The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say."

Who leaked (ha!) that to the press?

Cat Fends Off Bear

Another reason why cats are awesome.

Although- why is the human giggling and not running out to pepper spray the bear and save the cat? Not that the cat needs the help. Which I guess the human knew. I answered my own question.

Even Obama's State of the Union is More Fun

What a change from dour George. Obama's ad libbing, the House is cheering whenever the are referenced (like when a band says the hometown name at a concert and the crowd goes wild), Biden gave big smiles. Even you who say "he's not the man I voted for" have to appreciate this more than W.

I thought Steadman was there, but it was Eric Holder. (Do you like how Oprah's bf goes by one name also?)

The justices are pretty much sitting on their hands. You know Ginsberg wants to shout "You go, O!"

Pelosi is cracking up whenever people start clapping and no one joins them.

Obama didn't ignore the topic of healthcare. And said it's obvious he didn't tackle healthcare because it's good politics.

He said a lot more things...put up with bitter laughs from the right...had to tell Congress that they shouldn't be acting like f*cks to each other...ok that was my word. But that's basically what he meant. He had to tell this to grown people!

Wow. There are some odd looking congress people.

This last part, where the cheering stopped...where the House must be coming off of their office kegger buzz...where it was quiet...gave me chills. This man can give a speech.

Photo: Reuters

SAG Awards

Joan Rivers is back. I found out from her Twitter! Doesn't appear that E! put her back on the red carpet, but she is part of Fashion Police which is better than nothing.

Still, I miss her red carpet blunders.

Anyways, another sassy silver dame, Betty White, is being honored at the SAG Awards tonight. That alone is reason to watch!

Conan's Last Night

Yes, we just watched the sadness of Haiti. So what Conan is going through pales (pun sorta intended) in comparison. Still- Jay Leno sucks.

Five years ago Leno said he didn't want the Leno/Letterman Tonight Show feud to happen with Conan, so he would hand Conan the keys and go away gracefully. This is on tape (I'm too tired to find it right now).

Conan is at his best when he's being a dork, singing in his old lady irish voice, and doing the string dance. That might not be for The Tonight Show, but hopefully he'll find some place.

Go Coco!

Hope For Haiti Now

Did anyone else think listening in on the celebs talking with the regular folk was a bit uncomfortable?

Reese said to a caller that she was going to transfer them to an operator, and then she said in a condescending voice "have you talked to an operator before?" Um. Yes, Reese. The rest of us have to handle all our own phone calls.

Julia handled the call much better, well, I guess I should say Julia kept in character.

Steven Spielberg seemed comfortable on the phone. I don't really have more to comment than that.

After Jay-Z, Rihanna, half of U2 performed (I've already looked on iTunes to buy that song), the floor director could be heard saying "I need two people, who wants to go back in?" Made it seem a bit like the celebs are seat fillers. Oh who are we kidding, Aniston could only handle a few phone calls before making her assistant take over. Which btw- Aniston, Pitt in the same room?

Oops. Julia said HelpforHaitiNow.org , it's HopeforHaitiNow.org.

Love Neil Young but why did it look like he was going to kill the cameraman with his eyes?

Denzel is there! Julia loves her life! (Oscar reference dontcha know)

Golden Globes

I did pretty good with the predictions. That gets me absolutely nowhere, but whatevs.

Personally I liked Meryl Streep's speech. To paraphrase- she was conflicted with having to put on a happy, movie persona when there are people buried under rubble in Haiti. When people get overly emotional, like Kate Winslet last year, it is a bit much.

Yes, be proud of yourself. But keep it in perspective. The Golden Globes are voted on by less than 100 journalists, last I read. With 5 nominees in most categories, you only need to get about 20 votes. Think about that Winslet.

Ricky Gervais was funny, liked that he didn't care who he insulted, including the American The Office. He said something about "it jumping the shark...that's what they're saying in some forums".

I'm not convinced RDJ is off the booze. And that surprised everyone- winning for Sherlock Holmes?!

Golden Shower


But really, it is raining in LA.

Ok, I'll make some guesses. It is the foreign press, they do crazy things like give Madonna acting awards. So regardless what people say, I don't think these are the precursor to the Oscars. They're just earlier. Unless that's what precursor means.

Best Picture- Drama
The Hurt Locker. It's about Iraq, right? And it must be a somewhat anti-war in a support-our-troops way, I'm guessing. If not, something makes me think Precious.

Best Actress- Drama
Sandy B. Everyone likes her. Although the GG's often go to foreign actresses so it could be 3 of the 5 actresses, in which case I'll say Emily Blunt.

Best Actor- Drama
I want to say Clooney because everyone likes to see him at the podium, and I do think Jeff Bridges will finally get his Oscar ("I've got a beverage here!"- Big Lebowski), but for this I'm leaning towards Brit Colin Firth.

Best Picture- Comedy or Musical
I would say The Hangover, but as soon as I saw Nine on the list I might have to go with that. I haven't seen it, and I know some people hate, some love, so it's a movie that is all over the place. But the Golden Globes loves some singing, and it is chock full o' foreign actors. If not, I still don't see the foreign press giving The Hangover an award, and I would go with Julie & Julia but surely half of the voters are men and I don't see them picking that, so I am meekly saying It's Complicated.

Best Actress- Comedy or Musical
Meryl is nominated twice, so I'll go with her for Julie & Julia. If she doesn't get it, maybe they'll give Sandy B. another shout out for The Proposal.

Best Actor- Comedy or Musical
Daniel Day Lewis for Nine.

Best Actress- Supporting
Penelope Cruz for Nine. If she got an Oscar for that Woody Allen movie, then she could probably get an award for a Loreal commercial. Although Mo'nique might for Precious.

Best Actor- Supporting
Stumped. Matt Damon does have the matinee factor, but Christoph Waltz is foreign (I think) and was in a movie where they want to kill nazis, so I pick him for the win.

Best Animated

Best Foreign
No clue.

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
While I've heard its a good movie, in years past that might not be enough to top the blockbuster Avatar. But a woman directed a war film, and she used to be married to Avatar's director, the insufferable James Cameron (also nominated). Grrrl power!

Best Screenplay
Quentin might get this for Inglourious Basterds, although I am still confused since there is a movie with the same title and theme from the 70's.

Best Original Score
I haven't heard any, so I'll go for James Horner, Avatar.

Best Original Song
I just think they'll like Nine, so I'll say "Cinema Italiano".

Best TV- Drama
Mad Men. Although I'd vote for Dexter. None of the five nominees are on network tv. Unless FOX counts as network (House).

Best Actress TV Drama
Glenn Close is great on Damages, but maybe they'll give it to January Jones on Mad Men. She isn't that good of an actress on that show, but pretty people always get stuff, don't you know that?

Best Actor TV Drama
Just throwing it out there- Simon Baker, The Mentalist. He's foreign. And he's good looking, and what did I say about good looking people? They get stuff. So with that theory, I say Hamm if not Baker.

Best TV Comedy or Musical
Did they add that musical part to accomodate Glee? Anyways, I'm thinking Glee might be singing all the way to the podium. Otherwise, 30 Rock is still funny and might get win again.

Best Actress TV Comedy or Musical
Toni Collette, she's foreign and a good actress. Or Lea Michele from Glee?

Best Actor TV Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin or Matthew Morrison if Glee is sweeping up.

Grey Gardens or Little Dorrit since that sounds British.

Best Actress Miniseries
Drew Barrymore, because she actually did a good job.

Best Actor Miniseries
Maybe Kevin Bacon, but Brendan Gleeson played what's his face (the British PM) and if a lot of the voters are British the could go with him. Well, 4 of the 5 nominees are foreign so Bacon might not get nothing.

Best Actress TV Supporting
Jane Lynch from Glee would be great, but I don't know how much the foreign press is going to award Glee. Janet McTeer and Rose Byrne are foreign so they might be taking it home. Fun fact: two Janes and a Janet in this category. Aint that fancy!

Best Actor TV Supporting
Let's hope its anyone but Piven for Entourage. John Litgow for Damages is my guess.

Golden Globes


I don't remember who is nominated. But I will guess George Clooney wins something, Kathryn Bigelow as director, and the guy from Monk if that's still on the air. He always wins.

Ricky Gervais is naturally funny so it should be good.

Kimmel on Leno

Jimmy Kimmel wasn't really guest on Leno's show, he was just on the "10 @ 10" segment which is really stupid. 10 questions at sometime in the 10 o'clock hour. That sounds like something on a college tv show.

Kimmel got six good slams in (yes, I counted) and a final plea "to leave our shows alone". Leno was laughing, but Kimmel was being serious. Can Leno be this clueless?

Look for it online tomorrow.


One of the down sides of this Leno-Conan debacle is that I'm tuning in to Leno's monologue. I don't know if you understand how hard this is me.

Tonight Leno said "The Tonight Show's ratings are up...you're welcome." And then he stuck that chin out and did some braggy nodding thing. Blech.

Then, when he announced the night's guest he just said Dwayne Johnson, not mentioning that Jimmy Kimmel was also on. This could be why:

When I saw that Kimmel was going to be on Leno tonight, I wondered why Kimmel would've made fun of him if he was then going on the Leno show. But I think Leno invited him to be on after Kimmel made fun of him.

Leno likes to be in on the joke, and act like he doesn't care. No one likes him. Letterman, Conan, Kimmel and I would guess Fallon are all on one side, prob Ferguson too since he's hired by Letterman.


CJ from Top Chef. At The Yard, where he is head chef. Fish tacos were great. Before getting to the pub I saw one of the guys from Big Brother on the sidewalk. He wasn't laying on the sidewalk, but was talking to someone sitting, or something. Was there a surfer looking guy on last season's BB? I think that was him.

Tonight went to the movies, and there was a film premiere (no red carpet means small budget). And who was there? Frank Stallone!

After we got out of the movie I said "Frank" into the general area of the lobby and sure enough, his movie got out and he was in the lobby at the same time as us. He seemed fit, almost too skinny. Pink shirt, very nicely ironed tucked into black pants. Was walking to the free parking across the street

You gotta give it to him for not giving up...or do we? I think we do...right? It's not like he's assaulting our senses like a Gosselin.

I was trying to remember what song he sang from his bro's movie Staying Alive (remember the Saturday Night Fever sequel?) and a quick search on iTunes: "Far From Over". It was a typical song of that time (take a listen, you'll know what I mean). Frank has quite a few songs on iTunes. He released a CD in 2006 called "Soft and Low". Although the best CD title of his "Stallone on Stallone By Request". By request of whom?

Did I ever mention seeing Gary Busey at Cirque Du Soleil? He was in the souvenir section. E said to me: "only you would recognize Gary Busey". I disagree. He looks just like Gary Busey. Hard to miss!

Director Guild Award Noms

I don't know anything about Kathryn Bigelow, but I'm all for Grrrl Power, so even if she would squash me like the roach I saw last night, I hope she kicks the guys butt. Including ex-husband James Cameron.

Lee Daniels, Precious
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar


Last night I saw my first cockroach in the kitchen. I'm still shaking from the experience. How is someone supposed to sleep knowing those things are around?

I tried Googling how common they are for this area, but couldn't find much. Wikipedia did say they carry disease, and people are allergic to them. Just great.

Seattle don't have no cockroach!

Heidi Fleiss' Face

Uh. Anyone else watch Dr. Drew's rehab show and see Heidi Fleiss? Isn't her dad a famous doctor? Can't he get her a good plastic surgeon?


Dhaka zoo, in Dhaka, Bangladesh

Source: AP

Driving While Talking on the Phone

That's my high pitched "hello" on the other end. Can I get a voice transplant?

New TV Starting

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Tonight!
24 1/17
American Idol 1/12
Celebrity Apprentice 3/14
Damages 1/25 (you must catch up on Netflix if you aren't watching this show)
Lost 2/2
Project Runway 1/14
Survivor 2/11
Amazing Race 2/14

And I can't forget:
Carnie Wilson, Unstapled 1/14 Not a joke!

All new and returning shows, and there are about a hundred, many even the biggest shut-in hasn't heard of here

Oy, Boston Rob is Back

Survivor's 20th Season (!) is Heroes vs. Villians. Heroes? That's a bit dramatic.

Boston Rob, the one who married "Ambah" is one of the villians (obviously). The others:
such as bratty waitress Courtney Yates ("China"); cantankerous videographer Randy Bailey ("Gabon"); sarcastic cyclist Tyson Apostol ("Tocantins"); and pompous soccer coach Benjamin Wade ("Tocantins").

Some of the "heroes" tribe will include lovable mentor Rupert Boneham ("Pearl Islands," "All-Stars"); emotional pinup model Jessica "Sugar" Kiper ("Gabon"); and Texas hunk Colby Donaldson ("Australian Outback," "All-Stars"), Jeri Manthey ("Australian Outback," "All-Stars").

Oh, who can remember their names. Pics here.

Like Project Runway which is starting soon, Survivor is starting a new season soon after their last season ended.

Tim Robbins Donated to Michele Bachman?

If you don't know who Michele Bachmann is, be glad.

Loyal Dems would undoubtedly be gobsmacked to learn that, if Federal Election Commission records are to be believed, Robbins has not only donated regularly to Democratic candidates over the past 18 years, he also has written checks to conservative Republicans. In the 2006 election cycle, according to public records, the actor gave $5,000 to 10 Republican candidates for the House and Senate—including, most shocking of all, Minnesota’s resident wingnut, Rep. Michele Bachmann.


2009 Top Ten Lists- Films

From Roger Ebert, top mainstream films

Bad Lieutenant- Nic Cage, remake,no?
Crazy Heart- Jeff Bridges, Country Western singer. How very 80's.
An Education- Peter Sarsgaard annoys, but Nick Hornsby adapted it so it has potential
The Hurt Locker- About war, that's all I know. And that a woman directed it. You go Kathryn Bigelow (James Cameron's ex, I think)
Inglourious Basterds- Did you know this was a remake?
Knowing- Ha! Nic Cage flick. It was good.
Precious- Haven't seen it
A Serious Man- Coens
Up in the Air- Good
The White Ribbon- Haven't a clue

This N That

I couldn't tell you what Avatar is about, but apparently I'm the only one.

Adam Carolla has a new tv show.

Get better Artie!

Does Charlie Sheen get a pass at being such a dick?

There is a show called Conveyor Belt of Love. Women pick out men on a conveyor belt.

From Seattle to LA

I went back to my college tv show roots and put together a montage. My trip on Amtrak is a bit bumpy, but that's the train for ya!

My former professor Alden Smith would be proud of my use of Nat Sound (natural sound- he often used a red pen and would scribble that on the script). Sometimes the Nat Sound is the ear splitting screech of the train, but that's the train for ya!

It's probably for the best that I don't have footage of the lady I saw in her bra, or the lady I walked in on while she was on the toilet. That's the train for ya!

Rent It

In the Loop- US and UK talk war.

Bruno- if you're in the mood for something completely stupid.

Happy New Year!

What a NYE. Yesterday I was going to watch The Hangover but I didn't think I could handle watching a movie about hangovers when I had one.

I was too busy chit chatting on NYE to see Kathy and A. Coop, so here's some clips.

Kathy swears, Andy tells her she's terrible. They could be in a sitcom these two.

Andy giggling.

A classic from 2008