The Photoshop Department Hates SJP

How in the heck does a poster like this get released?
See larger version here.

SJP's eyes are so close together, and she looks cross-eyed. Kim Catrall's face looks frozen, which is sort of how she looks anyways. I'm sure a dress like SJP's is a nightmare for a photoshop artist, and they somehow managed to work with it, but SJP's face is laughable.

This N That

Catherine Bach's husband dies.
When I first read the headline I thought "Casper what's his face died?" but that's Catherine Oxenburg who's married to him (and, since he's an actor, they probably wouldn't refer to him as husband). Then I thought "Ringo Starr?" But again- they'd use his name (and that's Barbara Bach, I think). It took some hard thinking to realize it's Dukes of Hazzard actress Catherine Bach (and you're thinking- why didn't you just read the article?)

Halle Berry and her hot piece split. Not surprised. He is crazy good looking, and is only 34. Now that he's famous, he probably thinks he has to sow some Hollywood oats.

The worst cities for *cough* ozone *achooo* pollution (I guess you'd have to know I live in LA to get that).

10 years later, the U.S. Women's Gymnatics team gets a bronze medal since China had an underage competitor. How did that take 10 years?

Navy to allow women on subs. File this under: Bull sh*t, archaic rules I was unaware of until they were reversed.

A-ha, band with the genius lyrics "Take on me....take me on" are breaking up after 30 years. That is sad...sad is that.

Sandra Bullock's Crew- The World's Best Secret Keepers

Dang. During all the scrutiny Sandra Bullock has been under these past few months, she was able to keep it a secret that she adopted a baby in January. Her friends and family sure can keep a secret.

Now that Jesse turned out to be a creep, Sandra is divorcing him and raising baby Louis by herself. That had to add an extra layer of suck to what was already a painful time for her.

This was to be the Pretty People issue, but you can see Julia has been moved to the corner (are you joking? Julia is the Prettiest again? C'mon!)

Doesn't he look like he's thinking "Bitch, please".

What's Wrong With Glee

Is tonight's episode Burt Bacharach? I can't tell the theme. Anyways, last week I realized what might be wrong with Glee (I know you're thinking- there's something wrong?).

It's fun when a Glee club sings a modern song, but when they go full on Madonna, and mimic her stage shows, it's not original. The Sue Sylvester video was tongue-in-cheek, I'm talking about when the girls were singing Express Yourself.

I thought it was annoying.

I noticed tonight they don't have the kids singing and dancing as much. Which was a nice change. I know that's the point of the show, but it's too much sometimes. Or maybe I just don't like the lead girl.

Happy Birthday Babs and Shirley!

Today is the day that the world was gifted with two genius women- Barbra Streisand (68), Shirley Maclaine (76).

Babs was recently on the Jonathan Ross BBC show and she seemed pleasant, unlike the dominating personality we'd heard about (but then again she was on a show, not in the editing room). Although I imagine she is not unlike all the men in Hollywood, but because she's a woman blah blah blah.

And Shirley, well, help her if I ever should see her. "Giiiiive myyyyy dauuuuughter the shotttttttttt!!!"

Here's Babs with Judy Garland, making gay hearts go a flutter.

One of the best movies ever, Terms of Endearment.

Go F*** Yourselves

No not you. That's Jon Stewart to one of the Faux News blowhards.

Thanks Mo!
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Bernie Goldberg Fires Back
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

Eclipse Trailer

I liked the first movie, the second movie had horrible acting and a floating Robert Pattison with half naked werewolves. If this one has more Edward, then it could be good. There is just no comparison between Edward and Jacob. As if.

Bret Michaels Hospitalized

From People:
The star was rushed to an undisclosed hospital where doctors discovered he suffered a massive subarachnoid hemorrhage (bleeding at the base of his brain stem), according to a source close to the situation.

Michaels, 47, is currently in critical condition. "After several CAT scans, MRIs and an angiogram, [doctors] decided to keep Michaels in the ICU and are running several tests to determine the cause. [It] will be touch and go for the next few days while he is under intense observation," the source says.

Survivor- So Fixed

I realize that none of you beside Mo watch Survivor, so carry on.

JT should be glad he won the $1 million prize before because the guy ain't bright. Why would you trust anyone on the Villian team, let alone Russell. I suppose its possible they taped this show before the previous season with Russell aired, so maybe he wasn't completely aware of his evil ways (yet Russell just reeks of shady).

The good ol' boy JT might've showed his sexist ways by saying at the end "never trust women". But it was a man who lied to him.

Parvati (that name!) and her big smile gave two idols to her teammates- but didn't keep one for herself, or give one to Russell. That looks producer manipulated to me.

Next you're going to tell me that none of the people that win The Bachelor end up getting married.

Project Runway Guest Judge

Faith Hill loved all of Emilio's outfits, saying she was "knocked out" by him. Knocked out to 1994 maybe. But then I have to remember that she wears clothes like this:

Project Runway Finale- No Spoilers

I am watching the Project Runway Finale (from the east coast) and I don't know who won yet, but I will say

-Seth Aaron was the best, but there was one dress that oddly hugged the butt (the purple dress) and when she walked by the judges one of them (Nina?) jumped back, I think because it wasn't flattering. (ha- the judges bring up that purple dress)
-Mila could win because it's more likely to be sold in stores. But there wasn't one piece that stood out.
-Emilio's was Talbots. There might be times when it is like walking down memory lane of your 90's work outfits. He called it "Color Me Bad", which says a lot. That was also a band...from the 90's. Coincidence? I think not.

What in the Name of Joyce DeWitt?

Is Heidi giving an homage to The Bieber? Did she have really bad split ends? Lose a bet? What is behind this look?

Project Runway finale tonight. I did not blog about PR this season because Lifetime's website made it too difficult. I get East Coast shows, so I am watching PR now. I am just going to guess that Seth Aaron wins.


Are you like me and you long for 80's one-hit wonders over anything playing currently on the radio? Where is Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam when you need them?

But the 80's are gone, and we now have something upon us called "Justin Bieber".

I know what you're thinking- she's cute. But it is a he. I think. All I know is I tried to have that Dorothy Hamill haircut years ago, and my cowlicks said "uh uh". So maybe I'm just jealous of Justin, and her hair.

I thought he was a Christian singer, but when he was in the audience of American Idol a few weeks ago, he took a big handful of crotch when Ryan was talking to him, so I thought that didn't seem very religious-singer of him.

Gawker has a guide to Bieber for old folks where I learned he was discovered from YouTube. Apparently he is the first act discovered from YouTube. I thought it was the Filipino singer for Journey?

Justin Bieber is often a trending topic on Twitter, which I can't figure out. But as Gawker points out- it's a bunch of girls Tweeting about Bieber, and a bunch of other people Tweeting: Who is Justin Bieber? Even Conan O'Brien has Tweeted about Bieber
I just learned that retweets of my Bieber tweet mentioning Bieber actually help Bieber. Bieber, you're a worthy foe. Bieber.

Damn! Bieber revealed that I'm opening for him with a Whitney medley. It was supposed to be a surprise. Advantage: Bieber.

Side note- I think Conan's funny, but I bet he's still on my Mom's list of people she doesn't want to see when at a talk show, like when we went to Ellen (it was him and Adam Sandler that she stated she did not want to be the guest...we ended up seeing the non-stop electric personality that is Alex Trebek).

The blog Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber is the new Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.



I forgot to post about 4:20 yesterday, and no it's not because I was participating in 4:20.

For those not in the know 4:20 is stoner time. Someone told me yesterday that 4/20 is Bob Marley's birthday. I am not sure if that is related to the time being 4:20.

Let's Wikipedia, shall we?
The term was coined from a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California, United States in 1971.[2][3] The teens would meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke marijuana outside the school.[4]

According to an April 2009 article on the The Huffington Post, the group called itself the Waldos because its members hung out by a wall after school. Writer Ryan Grim, citing interviews with anonymous Waldos, claims that the group met by the statue at 4:20 p.m. to begin a search for a crop of abandoned cannabis growing near Point Reyes that they had heard about. They never found the stash, Grim writes, but smoked plenty of marijuana while looking for it.

I just looked up Bob Marley's birthday and it is not 4/20. One of his sons, Stephen "Raggamuffin" Marley was born on 4/20. I'm thinking stoners aren't celebrating Raggamuffin. Just a hunch.

Wonder if sales of the KFC Double Down went up yesterday.

This is Food?

The Double Down sandwich (make your own gambling joke here) from KFC is fried chicken as the buns, filled with bacon, cheese and sauce.

I challenge that KFC's home office is actually in Kentucky- I'm thinking in California where pot is legal (for the most part). Only a stoner would come up with this.

Or they are just trying to see what kind of food atrocity they can get away with for sport.

Sue Sylvester's Vogue

Defamer has video of Glee's Sue Sylvester performing Vogue, next to the original video. It's more of an homage than a parody, and Sue (Jane Lynch) does a great job considering she doesn't seem like a former dancer (but maybe she was). For her next video, I suggest: Single Ladies. Or is that played out?

I can't embed the video, so go to Defamer here.

I'm sad that in the comments a young gay man said he didn't know Madonna except Evita. Wha?! I just want to scoop up that young gay and introduce him to Madge, Babs and Liza. I mean, I knew the educational system in this country wasn't great but this is just downright embarassing.

Tax Day- Free Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts

Now when they say free Starbucks I think that would be great if it was an Iced Mocha. But it's drip. And you have to bring your own mug. Ok, who can't carry their own mug right on over to their own coffee machine and make a cup o' coffee? So this gets a big thumbs down. Ain't dealing with parking for a cup of drip. Bitter.

Now a free donut might just be the thing we need on tax day- sure it's greasy, and 1,000 calories more than we need. But the wireless internet we all use is going to ruin us all anyways, so why not ingest some lard after dealing with taxes. But who even knows where a Dunkin' Donuts is? And you have to buy a cup of coffee to get the donut. This gets a nice try.

After dealing with taxes, the only thing free that would do us some good is if they dropped joints from airplanes. And then handed out pizza.

The Oprah Booooook

(Said it in the Oprah Announcing voice)

Kitty Kelly's Oprah book comes out tomorrow. I have been wondering when we'd get a sneak preview. This must be some good stuff...

Oprah lived with John Tesh.

Oh wait, it was 40 years ago? Whatevs... Next...

Oprah ordered two pecan pies from room service and ate them all.

So what. That sounds like a delightful afternoon. Surely, there is something...

Oprah was a Diva at an antique store
Yawn. This sounds like every celebrity ever. Anything else?

Vernon Winfrey might not be Oprah's real dad.

Well that explains why he was willing to talk to Kitty Kelly.

I'm assuming the real items are being left to be read by people purchasing the book...otherwise this might be a snoozer.

The Seattle Times Wins a Pulitzer

For reals!

Read it here

Congrats Seattle people!

Tonight's Dateline

Dateline is reporting on the book A Twisted Faith, about a minister that kills his wife, had a lover, blah blah blah.

Based on a true story, the victim, Dawn Tienhaara was someone I knew in grade school.

When you see stories like this it reminds you to live, laugh, love. And don't frickin' fret over most of the stuff.

peace out,

It's the 90's All Over Again

Get out your flannel shirt, cutoffs and Doc Martens- Soundgarden is back! They'll perform their first show together in 13 years (say wha?) at Lollapalooza. Their drummer is with Pearl Jam now, so not sure what will happen with that.

I saw Soundgarden at Lollapalooza when it was them, Pearl Jam, Ministry, and Ice Cube (except he was detained at the Canadian border) and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Soundgarden broke up in 1997, and Chris Cornell tried a solo career. Allegedly he had some personal issues, but hopefully he's doing better. I used to LOVE him, but he dumped the first wife, married a model, and blah blah blah.

Other performers at the 2010 Lollapalooza: Lady Gaga, Green Day, Arcade Fire, the Strokes, Phoenix, The National, Spoon, Devo, Cypress Hill, Cut Copy, the New Pornographers, Erykah Badu, Slightly Stoopid, Grizzly Bear, Gogol Bordello, Chromeo, Wolfmother, Yeasayer and X Japan.

I have to comment on this: I was looking at the list of Lollapalooza lineups and noticed that the various stages where the bands perform are now called "Budweiser stage" "Vitaminwater stage" "Citi stage". This seems very un-Lollapalooza!

Here is Soundgarden from the Bremerton (!) Lollapalooza I went to. Keep in mind this was pre-camera phones. So having any of this on video is cool.

I DO love Chris Cornell. So he had some issues...dumped the first wife...who am I to judge? Eddie Vedder is singing backup...he also dumped the first wife for a model...but yet I love him...*shaking fist*

Survivor Producer's Wife Found Dead

I'm concerned about what this will do for the credibility of Pimp My Ride.

From People:
A producer of Survivor was detained in Mexico after his missing wife's body turned up in a sewer at a resort in Cancun, according to U.S. and Mexican media reports.

Bruce Beresford-Redman had reported the disappearance of wife Monica, telling KCAL-TV in Los Angeles on Wednesday that he was waiting by the phone for any word of her fate. She reportedly had not returned from a shopping trip on Monday.

"I'm very hopeful someone will find my wife very soon," he told the station. "She still hasn't been located and we're looking."

Her body was found Thursday morning in the sewer of the Moon Palace resort where the family was staying, Fox News reports.

Early signs suggested she "died of strangulation because of the bruising," regional police spokesperson Adrian Cardena tells CNN.

Beresford-Redman is a three-time Emmy nominee who also produced Pimp My Ride and The Restaurant. His wife owns Zabumba Bar & Restaurant in Venice, Calif., which serves Brazilian specialties and hosts music nights, the Los Angeles Times reports. In addition to Survivor, he worked on Pimp My Ride and The Restaurant.

Hope He Has on His Pelican Briefs (har har)

Since America's Funniest Home Videos is no longer on the air (or is it?) you need to get your groin injury info from somewhere.

Please Tell Me You're Watching Celebrity Apprentice

First of all, The Donald's painted tan face is hilarious. Last week especially. I'm surprised he didn't pay to have that fixed in post.

Then there is Bret Michaels who looks awesome (sarcastic) in the bandana with a suit. And he drools over every woman, including CNBC's Erin Burnett who is pretty, but sheesh Bret take a cold shower. And the episode where he presented the check to two kids with diabetes, while talking about his partying(definitely not recommended when you have diabetes) was classic Bret.

Sharon Osbourne has such balls, it's entertaining.

And if you haven't already lost faith in the political system, Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagoevich (however spelled) will take you there. Not only does he not know how to text or email, he can't use A COMPUTER. Why wouldn't he at least have his children show him how before he came on the show, let alone learn how WHILE IN OFFICE. And he had to ask Bret to explain what a 3D interactive display was. Now, I'm thinking the word interactive threw him off, because he has to know what 3D is, right? Right?!

I did like when Rod said sometimes he wanted to live in the Harry Potter world, because that I can see. Although sometimes it sound pretty good to me too (though not with him there).


I felt that. The room didn't shake, it swayed. I thought I was having low blood sugar and when I went to the kitchen I saw the kitchen chandelier swinging back and forth.

The news is saying it was a 6.9, but some say it was a 7.2 quake.

Hoppy Easter!

I'm not sure what the Muppet creators are on...

Back to Trader Joe's Food

The folks were here for a week and now that they've left, my tastebuds are silently weeping.

A quick summary of what we did, and how I'll take you to the best food places in town (especially if you're paying! ha!)

We did start off with a Trader Joe's meal actually. I picked them up from the airport, we checked in to their trendy hotel (with hot chocolate croissants out on a table), and back to my place for lunch (soup and sand). We ventured to Griffith park and checked out the observatory with everyone else (but we got a parking spot in the lot somehow). It hurts the head with all the knowledge...and the realization that if something happens to the sun we're all f***ed. Vitello's for dinner, complete with a piano bar (that's the place Robert Blake went the night his wife was shot).

Katsuya sushi the next night. Delish. We stopped by a hole-in-the-wall wine bar on the way home and Ma said "celebrities?" and I said "not here". We were the only ones in the place, and the bartender had to come in from smoking on the sidewalk, to serve us. A few minutes later in walks Nick Lachey, a young woman and a guy. (I didn't tell Ma until we were in the car that he was there) I guess he counts as a celebrity.

Tuesday they went to the Bonnie Hunt show and we went to Mel's Diner, where a turkey burger was good and reasonably priced for that area. American Graffiti was filmed there, which made me wonder where the restaurant is that Grease was filmed at and why aren't I there everyday? (probably a sound stage)

Wednesday was Gjelina in Venice. We got there at 5pm with no reservations, and the guy said if we came back at 5:30 he could give us a table. We walk around and come back at 5:30 and the guy looks at me like he's never seen me in his life. I even said something like "we were just here..." and he made some excuse about seeing so many people. They're pretty snotty there, but you put up with it because of the food. Although, our server was nice.

We didn't wait a real long time in line at the Wanda Sykes show, but once we were seated it was several hours to film one show. We got sat in the back, which means we aren't one of the cool people (I figured out the "3" they put on our wrist was some kind of label). Saw John Corbett in the hallway. He is a tall drink of water. Wanda walked by, she is very short. Erykah Badu performed. I was oblivious to the controversy about her new video, but when her peak was what- 10 or more years ago, it's what you have to do.

That's about it for celebs. Oh, Ma says she saw Justin Bieber, I don't even know if I'm spelling that right. Long story how she figured out it was him since half the town has hair like that, but he was on American Idol the night before.

Friday we went to the Self Realization Center to pay tribute to our loved ones, Malibu Mart for about a minute, Malibu beach to walk and look at the homes. For dinner we went to Moonshadows where Mel Gibson was partying before the "Sugar T*ts" debacle. We didn't see any celebs, but something better- dolphins jumping in the ocean right outside the window as we enjoyed a fabulous meal. Now that is a great day.

You Don't Remake Babs and Donna. Ever.

Ok, yes I did sing this at karaoke, and I can't remember if I was Barbra Streisand or Donna Summer not that it matters since I would sing equally bad. But that is at a karaoke bar where no one is really paying attention. I am concerned that J Low is singing it, or sorta singing it...because that means she plans to release it as a single. Did you see her Grammy performance about the Louboutins? Jenny better get back to the block and just stay there.

Remaking this song and the fact she is remaking Overboard- J Low is out to crush your 80's dreams. What's next? Striptease on the table where Jake and Samantha kiss over the birthday cake (you know the one).

She has some children at home, so maybe she's tired. But who doesn't know how to sing this song? C'mon now! Maybe it's her subconscious blocking her- 'you're not really trying to sing a Babs song, are you?'

And who is her duet partner? You know the studio is going for Chingy, or Lil someone.

Ear drums look out: