How Badly Does Spade Need Money?

If I were him, I think I'd rather beg my sis-in-law Kate Spade for some cash before I would do this. No, it's not porn. It's the Tommy Boy Directv commercial.

When I first saw it I was appalled. Now I don't know what I think. It is good to see Chris Farley again, and Tommy Boy is hilarious, but I'm not sure I'm for it. Not that they've asked.

I've heard Directv did commercials for Poltergeist as well, starring the deceased girl from that movie. I haven't seen that one. I've seen Naomi Watts in the King Kong one and that's when I figured it must pay really well. I have Directv, and after the horrible customer service I received recently, I now know where all there money is going.

You Go on Amazing Race and You're Afraid of Water Slides?

Mika is afraid of water slides. And I'm afraid of what that was on her back. It looks like a worm in an alien movie, under her skin. Or that birthcontrol they gave women too dumb to remember to take a pill daily.

So Mika's boyfriend tried to force her down the slide. But then he got mad at the Harlem Globetrotter who was telling her not to go down the slide (if she didn't go down, the HG's could have their turn and be ahead of Mika and her bf). When Mika didn't go down the slide, her bf told one of the HG's that he was a piece of crap.

Ok- you forcibly try and get your girlfriend to go down a slide for a million dollars. How is that any different than the HG telling her not to go down? He wants the million, too.

Clip from YouTube via Dlisted

Rahner Goes to Forks, WA

Forks is where the Twilight books take place, but the movie wasn't filmed there.

I don't want to take too much credit, but the towel suggestion was all me.

U2 Live Webcast Tonight

I have been trying to ignore the fact that Bono is in town and I will not be seeing him. The Rose Bowl concert is sold-out, and even if it wasn't, from what I've heard- it's a huge place to see a concert (that means: maybe I'm too old to be dealing with all that nonsense). Still- Bono.

I just happened to stumble upon this fact: U2. YouTube. Live. Tonight.

WooHoo! I don't have to stand in line to pee, wait in traffic, have weird people rubbing past me. I can pee and still watch the show. That is the beauty of laptops.

Chin Sighting

Saw Jay Leno, doing Jay Walking (I'm assuming). I was driving by and that chin looked big. Must be huge in person.

Rick on Oprah

You know I love Rick Springfield, so it pains me to comment on what I think is a bad eye job and some botox. Having seen him up close at the cruise last year, the guy does have some puffy eyes. But I thought that was from all the wine he was drinking.

I couldn't find any photos of him on Opie's website (wonder what that's all about), but this appears to be a video they did with him backstage.

Still looks good (he's 60), don't get me wrong. But something looks different.

Lily Tomlin and Martin Short on Damages

Damages is the show that is shot in a blue tint and has a menacing Glenn Close. It's good. Martin Short and Lily Tomlin will be on it next season as as really rich person and her lawyer.

I love Martin Short. He's a grown man who is a big goof. And Lily was in 9 to 5 and The Incredibly Shrinking Woman, great 80's movies, so she's cool too.

Nathan Thurm and RFK Jr.

Jiminy Glick interviews Anderson Cooper. Coop's laugh makes me laugh.

But What About the Bibi Babka?

That's a little Perfect Strangers reference for ya.

Bronson Pinchot, who was on PS, is dishing some dirt.

About Tom Cruise:

We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth... He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, "You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?" I mean, his lingo was larded with the most... There was no basis for it. It was like, "It's a nice day, I'm glad there are no gay people standing here." Very, very strange.

Well, to be fair. Tom was probably, what, 25? Although I heard Tom was a d*ck on A Few Good Men.


Denzel Washington was behind the incredibly cowardly bullshit of "This is my character, not me." He was really abusive to me and everybody on that movie, and his official explanation was that his character didn't like me, but it was a dreadful experience. I spent my salary on time with my shrink just for helping me get through it... The script supervisor on that movie said it's like watching somebody kick a puppy. He was so vile.

I can see this. He seems hardcore.


Bette Midler was such a bitch to (director of First Wives Club). While he was directing, she would be rolling her eyes, pantomiming with her favorite actors, and she made it very difficult. And he was at his wit's end. He was actually a very nice man, but she was very unkind to him on that movie.

In what universe does Bette Midler not seem like a b*tch?

There's more, including Tom Hanks is a nice guy (not what I heard from an extra on Sleepless in Seattle, but we all have our cranky days): here. Are you like me and you're thinking- Bronson Pinchot worked with all these people?!

Source: AV Club, via Dlisted, via Huffington Post
A lot of vias

American Culture is Messed Up

I picture starving Africans thinking "Americans pretend their son is trapped in a flying saucer so they can have a tv show?" as they're kicking around a homemade soccer ball that can't even roll properly because it's a a bunch of rocks tied inside some fabric.

In England, at least whomever is making those designs in the field doesn't get caught. Why? They don't overplay their hand.

Balloon Boy (or as Bill Maher calls him Attic Boy) was just a pawn in his parents stunt, or so say sheriffs, who could be filing charges against one or both of the parents.

This whole thing is a reflection on America.

While it is good that Americans aren't so stupid that their kid could be flying away in a Jiffy Pop contraption, how pathetic are Americans that they would try and get attention this way?

Allegedly the parents were trying to sell a reality show. Oy.

Some giveaways that it was fake
-Well besides the fact that the kid said on a tv interview the next day "you said it was for a show"
-And besides the cheesy home video of the parents acting upset as the balloon was going up
-There was that 911 tape. Dad isn't that good of an actor
-And I think the dad called the local tv news right after he called 911

The sad thing is- they'll probably get a reality show.

Waist Not Want Not

Someone at Ralph Lauren got a little crazy with the photoshopping. The photo on the left is a print ad, the photo on the right is the same model in 2006.

This photoshop job is probably like when I do my eyebrows. You try and even each brow out and before you know it, you're Marlene Dietrich.

So, even if someone did photoshop after a pitcher of Flirtinis and a pack of NoDoz, someone still approved the ad and sent it to press. Too many Lime Rickeys, perhaps.

The model, Filippa Hamilton, says she didn't get her contract renewed because she was too large. Lauren's company says there were contract disputes.

Wonder if the photoshopper or ad person kept their job?

Photo: AP

Babs Liked the Wicker

I stopped by Barbra Streisand's auction preview today at the Bev Hills Hilton. Babs is auctioning off some belongings and donating the proceeds to charity. The preview ended today, and the auction starts tomorrow.

She had a lot of stuff, and I don't think all of it was on display, unless they were in another room. I didn't see the bathrobe from The Way We Were. If I had the dough I would buy that and wear it all day long. Did Hubbell touch the bathrobe? That's probably why it wasn't on display. Women would knock it off the model and roll around on the floor trying to get a scent of Hubbell (thats Robert Redford don't cha know).

I heard someone at the preview comment about all the wicker, saying she must've been in a wicker phase to which I said "she had a lot of phases". Because really, there was stuff from all over the place.

They responded that she didn't have a modern phase. "She's keeping that stuff" I told them. Of course the gold lame suit is going up for auction. The nice stuff she'll keep.

Twice I heard men (with women, I'm assuming are the wives that dragged them there) say: "Not really my style..."

Or really. A guy went to a Barbra Streisand auction preview and it wasn't his style. Huh.

Hopefully she is done with the fur phase.

The coolest was when I saw Babs' miniature wicker chairs, table and loveseat. We had the same thing! We used them for Barbie, but they might've been meant for dolls (since that seems more likely what Babs used them for). Babs and I have something in common. Well besides the schnozz.

Hey Balloon Boy- I Want an Hour Back

I was watching tv, concerned for the boy inside a balloon flying through the sky.

When the balloon hit the ground, I was nervous they would find the boy dead inside. The balloon couldn't have landed in a better spot, but I thought maybe a lack of oxygen would've hurt the boy.

Well, there wasn't a boy in the saucer balloon. He was hiding at home because he was afraid he would get in trouble when the balloon took off.

Glad the kid is ok. And yes, that's my problem that I didn't want to leave the tv because I wanted to see what happened. But sheesh.

I'm Just Going to State the Obvious

The White House has authorized more troops to Afghanistan and this seems odd to some since Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. So let me say what seems really obvious-

He must know something we don't.

Back in the 80's my Dad was storing cans of wheat, and other stuff- don't remember what else, just the wheat because it seemed weird to me. If you lose your power, what are you going to do with wheat? You can't just eat it. You'd have to bake it somehow. We teased Pops about those cans of wheat. It wasn't even Wheat Hearts or Cream of Wheat (which was fine with me because yuck and yuck). It was just wheat.

Well, when I was older Pops explained that things were tense for awhile, during the Cold War, and I guess us dumb kids were oblivious to it running around playing tetherball. And the older people were going to keggers and trying to make a bunker in their house.

So this long drawn out story is to say this- would my Dad get cans of wheat just for the heck of it? No. No he wouldn't.

So go play tetherball and let the grownups decide what to do. Because while Bush wasn't a grown up, Obama certainly is.

And I Have Showtime!

The AP says this photo was taken Wednesday from Rick's home in Malibu. Mere minutes...depends on traffic...from my house. Not that I know specifically where he lives. Which surprises you, I'm sure.

I thought it was an introductory special that I had Showtime. You know how the pay channels will give you a weekend of free movies and then take it away- hoping you'll sign up. But I still have it, so it must be part of my package. Which leads me to...

Rick Springfield is showing his rear on Showtime's Californication!

"It's not full-frontal, but it's pretty much full on," the 60-year-old musician-actor says. "As long as it's for the part, I'm cool with it. And it's funny. It's not done to be particularly sexy."

Springfield will appear on four episodes, and he sheds his clothes by the end of the season. His first episode airs Sunday. He plays a washed-up movie star who wants to rebuild his career.

He says his character, also named Rick Springfield, is a "very twisted, warped version" of himself.

Sniff...sniff...I won't be there:
Springfield will also perform and party with fans on a cruise to Mexico next month.

"I never used to be fan-friendly," he said. "Back in the '80s, I thought it was all about me, mistakenly. Now I realize it's actually all about them."

Words from someone who needs his old fans!

Photo, source: AP

Obama Gets Nobel Peace Prize

If you find yourself saying "what has Obama done to deserve this prize?" or "Gandhi never got a Nobel Peace Prize"- stop. Just stop yourself before you utter another word.

If you just don't like Obama, then you're being a Bitter Betty like Michael Steele. Like some congressman said "If Obama was having a BLT they'd (repubs) ban bacon". If that's not your issue, read on.

First of all- the Nobel Peace Prize people can give their award to whomever they want.

Second- As the award committee explained, it is for people that show the promise and intent of peace.

Rachel Maddow discusses other recipients and what they accomplished before their award.

Notice Rush says he agrees with the Taliban that Obama didn't deserve it. Interesting.

Third- Henry Kissinger has a Peace Prize!!! I mean c'mon. If you don't know why H.Kiss is not peaceful, read up on him. Not Mr. Peace.

I'm surprised non-peaceful people like Rush and Beck give a crap. Why should they care? That would be like me caring that Rush gets the Douche of the year prize.

Health Care Debating is So Last Summer

But we continue with it since zilch has been done to insure Americans. The MSNBC host, and Rep. Weiner sit across from looney lady (I think she started the death panel rumors) and her plan to delay your Medicare past 65! That seems to be going backwards, no?

Keith Olbermann will have an hour long special on healthcare on Wednesday.


Debra Messing at a park, looked like she was smiling at her son after he played an intramural game.

I'd say it was my biggest celeb sighting yet, but I saw Tommy Lee- and I've seen his sex tape so I'd say he's the biggest. *ba-dum dum*

Pearl Jam- I Didn't Know the Songs But it Still Was Fun

Saw Pearl Jam at the Gibson Theater at Universal last night. They didn't play nearly enough old songs, and when they did there were a few grumbles from Eddie. Before playing "Jeremy", Eddie moaned about how singing that song made him just about collapse (hey, I'm with ya, play another old song- like anything else from Ten). Before playing "Once", Eddie said "we've played this just a few times" clearly a sarcastic remark.

But that was it for complaining. Eddie seemed in a good, if wine-inspired, mood. Stone had on mom jeans and looked bored, Jeff Ament was his usual, Mike McCready looked less bloated, and the drummer has to be happy to not be in Soundgarden anymore.

While they played that new song from their Target commercial (I thought they were anti-corporations?), I did shout out "leggings are $6". Because, they are. Go get yourself a pair.

The set list is here. They did a cover of The Police's Driven to Tears and a little bit of English Beat's Save it For Later that I didn't notice, but how very 80's of them.

I'll try not to be bitter that the night before got Why Go, Animal, Even Flow, Porch, Black (!), State of Love and Trust (!!) and Rockin' in the Free World (!!!).

E spotted Chad Lowe in the parking lot and said she see him everywhere. (At yoga we saw the guy that played Claire's bf on Six Feet Under, but that wasn't worthy of it's own post so I'm putting it right here. No, not the one she ends up with, the tall one.).

Let's face it- Eddie in all his dumping his wife for a 20-something year old, selling out to Target glory is still swoon worthy.

Somewhere, Some Exes Are Laughing

Chris Evert and Greg Norman couldn't wait to leave their spouses and get married in 2008.

Well, now they're splitting up. That's all I got on that.

Photo, source: People

Padma Pregnant

After the Emmys I forgot to get snarky about Padma's dress.

And now that it has been announced that she is pregnant and has endometriosis, it just won't be nice to comment on what that red thing looks like. Ok, it looks like a scene from Braveheart.

No word on which chef, I mean, who the father is. But I don't really care.

Dave and Stephanie?

If you've watched David Letterman's show in the past you know Stephanie, his assistant who would do various things outside the studio, and I think she went to the Olympics one year.

It is now alleged that she and Letterman had a fling. I don't know if it's called an affair if neither is married (Letterman only recently married his girlfriend). Stephanie was recently allegedly living with the guy being charged with extorting Letterman (he had her diary and tried to use that to get $2 million out of Letterman).

If you don't know anything about what I'm talking about, read here.

While I'm a little surprised he was with Stephanie (they seemed to have a buddy rapport on-air), I'm not surprised he has been involved with people at work. His wife used to work for him. His ex-girlfriend Merrill Markoe was a very influential person on his staff. From what I've seen so far- who cares.