An Open Letter To Prince

Dear Prince –

I went to your 3121 show at the Roosevelt Hotel last night. (What’s with you and the number 7?) Look, here’s the thing – I’m a huge fan. The first concert I went to growing up was your “Purple Rain” tour. Iconic words: “PURPLE RAIN.” I ponied up $312.10 for a ticket to the show last night and while it was great, I kind of feel like you just phoned it in. If I’m going to pay that much for a ticket, I want to hear Purple Rain. I know you’re probably sick and tired of that song but come on, 99% of the people who pay to hear you don’t want a set list with obscure songs. I want my Purple Rain, Little Nikki and Little Red Corvette. Straight up.

I know I didn’t pay for the $3121.00 dinner that came before the show. I’m not sure why it was so expensive. Where you there? Did you actually eat with the plebs? No one seemed to know what the dinner was all about because I asked around last night. I would probably have paid three thousand dollars to say “Please pass the peas Prince” but I’m pretty sure you didn’t dine with the 120 people who paid that much for their spendy potatoes. Did they get a Purple Rain parfait for dessert? Is that why you didn’t sing it?

Like I said, the show was good. It was short, kind of like you – settle Prince, I’m kidding (although, one of your people last night told me you were 4'11") maybe you were tired. Lord knows you could have napped all day considering the show didn’t start until 12:30AM. $312.10 peasant ticket holders like me had to stand during the concert. I tried to convince the bouncers to let my weary dogs rest on one of the empty VIP sofas a mere 2 feet from me but I was denied. I powered through the pain confidently knowing the encore song, the piece de resistance was going to be Purple Rain.

The jazz session after the show was supposed to feature you jamming impromptu with the other musicians. I thought maybe you would spring Purple Rain on the crowd then. Alas, no. All we got was you at the microphone asking the crowd, “Are you happy?” I don’t think you heard me, but my answer was NO. After that you left, and so did we.

Considering the crowd last night, your music seems to span generations. In the very affected Hollywood crowd I spotted Jessica Simpson, Elisha Cuthbert from “24”, Scott Caan and Patrick Swayze. Now that’s some diversity. Props to you for that.

I think I like seeing you at bigger venues oh purple one. You just seemed a little “over” the whole scene last night. I will definitely pay to see you again, but please, just remember those two little words: PURPLE RAIN.

All the best,
Erin

PS: Can you tell the Roosevelt $30 is a bit ridiculous for valet parking.